Gaslighting from Parents: What It Looks Like and How to Deal with It

Written By Mícheál Æsír

Gaslighting from parents can be particularly damaging, as it affects a child's self-esteem and perception of reality. Here’s how to identify and manage gaslighting by parents.

What Gaslighting Looks Like from Parents

1. Denial of Events

Example: You: "You said you would come to my recital." Parent: "I never said that. You must be confused."

2. Trivializing Feelings

Example: You: "I feel really hurt when you criticize me." Parent: "You’re too sensitive. Grow up."

3. Shifting Blame

Example: You: "Why didn’t you support me during the argument?" Parent: "If you weren’t so difficult, I wouldn’t have to."

4. Withholding Information

Example: You: "Why didn’t you tell me about the family meeting?" Parent: "I thought you already knew."

5. Confusion and Contradiction

Example: You: "You promised to help me with my homework." Parent: "No, I didn’t. You must have misunderstood."

How to Deal with Parental Gaslighting

1. Trust Your Perceptions

Strategy: Keep a journal of events and conversations. Trust your own memories and feelings.

2. Set Boundaries

Strategy: Clearly communicate and enforce boundaries. Let your parents know that their behavior is unacceptable.

3. Seek Support

Strategy: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Their validation can reinforce your reality and provide emotional support.

4. Stay Confident

Strategy: Remind yourself of your worth and capabilities. Confidence can help you resist manipulation.

5. Limit Contact

Strategy: If gaslighting persists, consider limiting your interactions or creating distance to protect your mental health.

Conclusion

Gaslighting by parents can undermine your confidence and sense of reality. Recognizing the signs and taking steps to address it can help you protect your emotional well-being.

At Moriel Mental Health (MMH), we specialize in helping individuals cope with the effects of gaslighting and other forms of psychological manipulation. Our experienced therapists provide compassionate and effective treatment. Please contact us to book an appointment. We work all throughout California and are here to support you.

Sources:

  • Psychology Today

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline

  • GoodTherapy

  • Verywell Mind

  • PsychCentral

Mícheál Æsír
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