What to Do If Your Boss Gaslights You
Dealing with a gaslighting boss can be incredibly challenging and damaging to your mental health and professional well-being. Here’s how to identify and handle such a situation:
Identifying Gaslighting Behavior
1. Denying Your Experience
Example: You: "You said we would have a meeting today." Boss: "I never said that. You must be mistaken."
2. Trivializing Your Concerns
Example: You: "I’m feeling overwhelmed with my workload." Boss: "You’re overreacting. It’s not that much work."
3. Shifting Blame
Example: You: "The project got delayed because I didn’t receive the materials on time." Boss: "You should have followed up more aggressively. This is on you."
4. Withholding Information
Example: You: "I wasn’t aware of the changes in the project." Boss: "I thought you knew. It’s not my fault if you’re out of the loop."
5. Confusion and Contradiction
Example: You: "You approved my leave for next week." Boss: "No, I didn’t. You must be confused."
How to Handle Gaslighting by Your Boss
1. Document Everything
Strategy: Keep a detailed record of interactions, emails, and meetings. This can provide evidence and clarity.
2. Seek Support
Strategy: Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or a mentor. Their validation can help you feel more grounded.
3. Set Boundaries
Strategy: Politely but firmly communicate your boundaries and stick to them. For example, request written confirmation for important communications.
4. Stay Confident
Strategy: Trust your own perceptions and judgments. Regularly remind yourself of your skills and accomplishments.
5. Escalate the Issue
Strategy: If the behavior continues, consider talking to HR or a higher authority. Present your documented evidence to support your claims.
6. Seek Professional Help
Strategy: A therapist can help you navigate the emotional impact of gaslighting and develop coping strategies.
Conclusion
Gaslighting in the workplace can be incredibly harmful, but by recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps, you can protect your mental and professional well-being. If needed, seek external support to address the issue effectively.
At Moriel Mental Health (MMH), we specialize in helping individuals cope with the effects of gaslighting and other forms of psychological manipulation. Our experienced therapists provide compassionate and effective treatment. Please contact us to book an appointment. We work all throughout California and are here to support you.
Sources:
Psychology Today
National Domestic Violence Hotline
GoodTherapy
Verywell Mind
PsychCentral
