What is Gaslighting? Examples and How to Respond
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person tries to make someone else doubt their own perceptions, memories, and reality. It can erode the victim's self-confidence and mental stability. Here are some examples of gaslighting behavior and how to respond to them.
Examples of Gaslighting
1. Denial of Reality
You: "You told me you would handle the bills this month." Gaslighter: "I never said that. You're making things up."
2. Trivializing Feelings
You: "I felt hurt when you ignored me at the party." Gaslighter: "You're too sensitive. It wasn't a big deal."
3. Shifting Blame
You: "Why didn't you call me back?" Gaslighter: "I didn't call because you're always so needy and demanding."
4. Withholding Information
You: "Why didn't you tell me about the change in plans?" Gaslighter: "I thought you already knew. You must have forgotten."
5. Confusion and Contradiction
You: "You said you would be home by 7 PM." Gaslighter: "No, I said 9 PM. You always get things wrong."
How to Respond to Gaslighting
1. Stay Calm
Remaining calm can help you think clearly and respond assertively without escalating the situation.
2. Document Events
Keep a journal or record of conversations and events. This can help you keep track of what actually happened and reinforce your reality.
3. Assert Your Reality
Use "I" statements to express your feelings and perceptions. For example, "I remember you saying that you would handle the bills."
4. Seek Support
Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional who can validate your experiences and provide support.
5. Set Boundaries
Clearly communicate and enforce boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. For example, "I will not continue this conversation if you keep dismissing my feelings."
Conclusion
Recognizing gaslighting is the first step toward protecting yourself from its harmful effects. If you suspect you are being gaslit, consider seeking support from a mental health professional.
At Moriel Mental Health (MMH), we specialize in helping victims of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse. Our therapists provide compassionate and effective treatment. Please contact us to book an appointment. We work all throughout California and are here to support you.
